Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling
Thursday, September 24, 2009
A person, full of certitude with Amicable personality, Sagacious by profession, arduous towards any work and have cogent attitude for each and every thing.
"Every person who wins in any understanding must be willing to cut all sources of retreat. Only by doing so can one be sure of maintaining that state of mind known as a burning desire to win - essential to success"
"When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When funds are low and debts are high, And you want to smile but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest, if you must, but don't you quit...Don't give up till mercy"
"The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit."
Now something really personal about me:
Others see me as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They also see me as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. I am not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but I am that who's extremely loyal, having cool attitude to friends that I do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know about me realize it takes a lot to shake my trust in them, but equally that it takes for me a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
Sometimes,I get sudden outbursts of anger and get out of control, I become another person and nothing can stand in your way. I am always curious and responsive to changes. Routine life is not the way I choose to live. Traveling and playing chess are my favorite hobbies because excitement is what you are after. I never stand around the one whom I dislike. My love comes and goes quickly. My strengths are seasoned and original. My weaknesses are rash, impatient and self-rigorous.
"Every person who wins in any understanding must be willing to cut all sources of retreat. Only by doing so can one be sure of maintaining that state of mind known as a burning desire to win - essential to success"
"When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When funds are low and debts are high, And you want to smile but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest, if you must, but don't you quit...Don't give up till mercy"
"The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit."
Now something really personal about me:
Others see me as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They also see me as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. I am not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but I am that who's extremely loyal, having cool attitude to friends that I do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know about me realize it takes a lot to shake my trust in them, but equally that it takes for me a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
Sometimes,I get sudden outbursts of anger and get out of control, I become another person and nothing can stand in your way. I am always curious and responsive to changes. Routine life is not the way I choose to live. Traveling and playing chess are my favorite hobbies because excitement is what you are after. I never stand around the one whom I dislike. My love comes and goes quickly. My strengths are seasoned and original. My weaknesses are rash, impatient and self-rigorous.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN WOMAN !!!!!!!!!
2:WHEN YOU GO TO A BAR YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALWAYS PICK UP A BEER .
3:A BEER WON´T GET UPSET IF YOU COME HOME WITH BEER ON YOUR BREATH.
4:YOU DON´T HAVE TO WINE AND DINE A BEER .
5:IF YOU POUR A BEER RIGHT YOU ´LL ALWAYS GET GOOD HEAD.
6:HANGOVERS GO AWAY.
7:WHEN YOU´RE FINISHED WITH A BEER THE BOTTLE IS STILL WORTH TWO DOLLARS .
8:YOU DONT HAVE TO WASH A BEE BEFORE IT TASTES GOOD .
9:A BEER ALWAYS GOES DOWN EASY.
10:YOU CAN SHARE A BEER WITH YOUR FRIENDS .
11:BEER IS ALWAYS WET.
12:YOU ALWAYS KNOW YOU´RE THE FIRST ONE TO POP A BEER .
13:A FRIGID BEER IS A GOOD BEER .
14:YOU CAN HAVE MORE THAN ONE BEER AND NOT FELL GUILTY.
15:YOU CAN ENJOY A BEER ALL MONTH LONG .
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
KUCH romantic countries in the world:-
H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.
B.U.R.M.A. - Between Us, Remember Me Always.
N.E.P.A.L. - Never Ever Part As Lovers.
I.N.D.I.A. - I Nearly Died In Adoration.
K.E.N.Y.A. - Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing.
C.A.N.A.D.A. - Cute And Naughty Action that Developed into Attraction.
K.O.R.E.A. - Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity.
E.G.Y.P.T. - Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!
M.A.N.I.L.A. - May All Nights Inspire Love Always.
T.H.A.I.L.A.N.D - Totally Happy. Always In Love And Never Dull
H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.
B.U.R.M.A. - Between Us, Remember Me Always.
N.E.P.A.L. - Never Ever Part As Lovers.
I.N.D.I.A. - I Nearly Died In Adoration.
K.E.N.Y.A. - Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing.
C.A.N.A.D.A. - Cute And Naughty Action that Developed into Attraction.
K.O.R.E.A. - Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity.
E.G.Y.P.T. - Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!
M.A.N.I.L.A. - May All Nights Inspire Love Always.
T.H.A.I.L.A.N.D - Totally Happy. Always In Love And Never Dull
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Our Stock Market :
Two Simpletons Aadhya and Padhya lived in a village. One day Aadhya went to the Village fair and bought a mule very cheaply at Rs.30.
Next day he bathe the mule and rode on it in the village square with poise . Everybody started praising Aadhya. Seeing that Aadhya sudden rise to fame was due to
the mule Padhya went to Aadhya and offered to buy the Mule for Rs.50. Sensing profit Aadhya sold the Mule to Padhya. Next day Padhya bathe the mule and rode on it in the village square. This time everybody praised
Padhya. Now Aadhya got jealous and bought back the mule from Padhya at Rs.100. This went on till the price of the Mule touch Rs.500.
Now a Saudagar( FII) came to the village and came to know of the Mule. He thought this Mule is magical and offered to buy it from Aadhya at a price of Rs.1000.
Aadhya gleefully sold the Mule to the Saudagar making a huge profit. Now at the Saudagar's place the price of Mule began increasing at a fast pace till it reached Rs.2000.
Now Aadhya seeing the demand of the Mule sold everything and went to the Saudagar to buy back the Mule. The Saudagar returned it to him at Rs.2000.
The very next day the villagers started spreading rumors that there is some fault in the Mule so the Saudagar must have sold it back to Aadhya.
Aadhya heard the rumors and felt restless. He went to Padhya and told him that he urgently needs money and he is ready to sell his Rs.2000 Mule at Rs.1500.
Padhya seeing a profit of Rs.500 bought the Mule. The next day Padhya heard rumors about the Mule and he desparately went back to Aadhya and told him to buy back the Mule and giving him whatever amount he wants to give.
Aadhya bought back the Mule for Rs.800.
Now Aadhya is feeding the Rs.800 Mule everyday in his courtyard dreaming that one day the Saudagar (FIIs) will return and buy his Mule again.
Next day he bathe the mule and rode on it in the village square with poise . Everybody started praising Aadhya. Seeing that Aadhya sudden rise to fame was due to
the mule Padhya went to Aadhya and offered to buy the Mule for Rs.50. Sensing profit Aadhya sold the Mule to Padhya. Next day Padhya bathe the mule and rode on it in the village square. This time everybody praised
Padhya. Now Aadhya got jealous and bought back the mule from Padhya at Rs.100. This went on till the price of the Mule touch Rs.500.
Now a Saudagar( FII) came to the village and came to know of the Mule. He thought this Mule is magical and offered to buy it from Aadhya at a price of Rs.1000.
Aadhya gleefully sold the Mule to the Saudagar making a huge profit. Now at the Saudagar's place the price of Mule began increasing at a fast pace till it reached Rs.2000.
Now Aadhya seeing the demand of the Mule sold everything and went to the Saudagar to buy back the Mule. The Saudagar returned it to him at Rs.2000.
The very next day the villagers started spreading rumors that there is some fault in the Mule so the Saudagar must have sold it back to Aadhya.
Aadhya heard the rumors and felt restless. He went to Padhya and told him that he urgently needs money and he is ready to sell his Rs.2000 Mule at Rs.1500.
Padhya seeing a profit of Rs.500 bought the Mule. The next day Padhya heard rumors about the Mule and he desparately went back to Aadhya and told him to buy back the Mule and giving him whatever amount he wants to give.
Aadhya bought back the Mule for Rs.800.
Now Aadhya is feeding the Rs.800 Mule everyday in his courtyard dreaming that one day the Saudagar (FIIs) will return and buy his Mule again.
Monday, June 29, 2009
- a blushing crow | a crushing blow
- a half-warmed fish | a half-formed wish
- bad salad | sad ballad
- bake him away, toys! | take him away, boys!
- bat flattery | flat battery
- bedding wells | wedding bells
- belly jeans | jelly beans
- biny little tirds | tiny little birds
- bowel feast | foul beast
- cat flap | flat cap
- cattle ships and bruisers | battle ships and cruisers
- chipping the flannel on TV | flipping the channel on TV
- cop porn | popcorn
- eye ball | bye all
- fight in your race | right in your face
- fighting a liar | lighting a fire
- fission mailed | mission failed
- flutter by | butterfly
- go and shake a tower | go and take a shower
- goddies* | doggies *
- hake a tike | take a hike
- hiss and lear | listen here
- hypodemic nurdle | hypodermic needle
- I hit my bunny phone | I hit my funny bone
- I’m a damp stealer | I’m a stamp dealer
- I’m shout of the hour | I’m out of the shower
- I must mend the sail | I must send the mail
- is the bean dizzy? | is the Dean busy?
- it crawls through the fax | it falls through the cracks
- it’s roaring with pain | it’s pouring with rain
- know your blows | blow your nose
- lack of pies | pack of lies
- lead of spite | speed of light
- mad bunny | bad money
- mean as custard | keen as mustard
- my zips are lipped | my lips are zipped
- nicking your pose | picking your nose
- nosey little cook | cosy little nook
- no tails | toe nails
- our queer old Dean | our dear old Queen
- our shoving leopard | our loving shepherd
- pit nicking | nit picking
- plaster man | master plan
- ready as a stock | steady as a rock
- sealing the hick | healing the sick
- soap in your hole | hope in your soul
- soul of ballad | bowl of salad
- tease my ears | ease my tears
- this is the pun fart | this is the fun part
- tons of soil | sons of toil
- wave the sails | save the whales
- we’ll have the hags flung out | we’ll have the flags hung out
- would you like a nasal hut? | would you like a hazel nut?
- you have very mad banners | you have very bad manners
- you hissed my mystery lecture | you missed my history lecture
- you’ve tasted two worms | you’ve wasted two terms
*When I was a little girl, this is what I called dogs 
some good spoonerisms...check it
* Tease my ears (Ease my tears)
* A lack of pies (A pack of lies)
* It's roaring with pain (It's pouring with rain)
*Wave the sails (Save the whales)
* Cat flap (Flat cap)
* Bad salad (Sad ballad)
* Soap in your hole (Hope in your soul)
* Mean as custard (Keen as mustard)
* Plaster man (Master plan)
* Pleating and humming (Heating and plumbing)
* Trim your snow tail (Trim your toe nails)
* Birthington's washday (Washington's Birthday)
* Trail snacks (Snail tracks)
* Bottle in front of me (Frontal Lobotomy)
* Sale of two titties (Tale of two cities)
* Rental Deceptionist (Dental Receptionist)
* Flock of bats (Block of flats)
* Chewing the doors (Doing the chores)
know your blows blow your nose
go and shake a tower go and take a shower
tease my ears ease my tears
nicking your pose picking your nose
you have very mad banners you have very bad manners
lack of pies pack of lies
it's roaring with pain it's pouring with rain
sealing the hick healing the sick
go help me sod so help me God
pit nicking nit picking
bowel feast foul beast
I'm a damp stealer I'm a stamp dealer
hypodemic nurdle hypodermic needle
wave the sails save the whales
chipping the flannel on TV flipping the channel on TV
mad bunny bad money
I'm shout of the hour I'm out of the shower
lead of spite speed of light
this is the pun fart this is the fun part
I hit my bunny phone I hit my funny bone
flutter by butterfly
bedding wells wedding bells
I must mend the sail I must send the mail
cop porn popcorn
it crawls through the fax it falls through the cracks
my zips are lipped my lips are zipped
bat flattery flat battery
would you like a nasal hut? would you like a hazel nut?
puke on coupon
belly jeans jelly beans
eye ball bye all
fight in your race right in your face
ready as a stock steady as a rock
no tails toe nails
hiss and lear listen here
soul of ballad bowl of salad
* A lack of pies (A pack of lies)
* It's roaring with pain (It's pouring with rain)
*Wave the sails (Save the whales)
* Cat flap (Flat cap)
* Bad salad (Sad ballad)
* Soap in your hole (Hope in your soul)
* Mean as custard (Keen as mustard)
* Plaster man (Master plan)
* Pleating and humming (Heating and plumbing)
* Trim your snow tail (Trim your toe nails)
* Birthington's washday (Washington's Birthday)
* Trail snacks (Snail tracks)
* Bottle in front of me (Frontal Lobotomy)
* Sale of two titties (Tale of two cities)
* Rental Deceptionist (Dental Receptionist)
* Flock of bats (Block of flats)
* Chewing the doors (Doing the chores)
know your blows blow your nose
go and shake a tower go and take a shower
tease my ears ease my tears
nicking your pose picking your nose
you have very mad banners you have very bad manners
lack of pies pack of lies
it's roaring with pain it's pouring with rain
sealing the hick healing the sick
go help me sod so help me God
pit nicking nit picking
bowel feast foul beast
I'm a damp stealer I'm a stamp dealer
hypodemic nurdle hypodermic needle
wave the sails save the whales
chipping the flannel on TV flipping the channel on TV
mad bunny bad money
I'm shout of the hour I'm out of the shower
lead of spite speed of light
this is the pun fart this is the fun part
I hit my bunny phone I hit my funny bone
flutter by butterfly
bedding wells wedding bells
I must mend the sail I must send the mail
cop porn popcorn
it crawls through the fax it falls through the cracks
my zips are lipped my lips are zipped
bat flattery flat battery
would you like a nasal hut? would you like a hazel nut?
puke on coupon
belly jeans jelly beans
eye ball bye all
fight in your race right in your face
ready as a stock steady as a rock
no tails toe nails
hiss and lear listen here
soul of ballad bowl of salad
Friday, June 19, 2009
http://handlingyourself.blogspot.com
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Know Others
http://learnpeople.blogspot.com/
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http:/
http://learnd
Know Yourself
http://knowindividuals.blogspot.
http://knowpsychology.blogspot.com/
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Fea
http://knowingfear.blogspot.com
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Yoga and Meditation
http://knowingyoga.blogspot.co
http://knowmeditation.blogspot.com/
Str
http://handlestress.blogspot.co
http://knowdepression.blogspot.com/
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Mind and Body
http://handlingmind.blogspot.com
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Sleep and Relaxation
http://sleepnicely.blogspot.co
http://relaxingguide.blogspot.com
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Rules of Comedy Writing
I was recently reading "Hitchhiker", a biography of Douglas Adams, and there was a mention of John Cleese's 3 rules of comedy writing, which are:
1. NO PUNS
2. NO PUNS
3. NO PUNS
Not all that helpful, right?
However, it got me thinking that there are quite a lot of theories about what makes good comedy. For example, Norm McDonald (you know, SNL) says he hates applause because it just means you said something the audience agrees with (e.g., some political remark like "Bush sucks!") and is not really funny.
And you remember Larry David saying that he didn't want any characters on "Seinfeld" to hug or learn anything (you know, become better people). "Seinfeld", of course, was firmly rooted in a world of sitcoms where the characters are trapped (doomed!) in their own amusingly defective psyches.
NOW THEN, can anyone suggest any other rules for comedy writing?
And here's a bonus question: there is a story of Lorne Michaels (SNL once again) looking at two pots of coffee and saying "Now, which one of these coffees is freshest?" And an observer thought "He even thinks in comedic pentameter!" Can anyone come up with other ordinary ideas expressed in "comedic pentameter"?
**********************************
"Ah, what time is it? You know, this watch was sold to me by my grandfather on his deathbed."
However, here is a clear example of a funnier revision of a funny idea:
(1) One summer my mother sent my sister and myself to Europe because she needed a vacation.
(2) My mother, one summer, decided she deserved a vacation. So she called up the travel agent and got tickets to Europe. For me and my sister.
******************
1. NO PUNS
2. NO PUNS
3. NO PUNS
Not all that helpful, right?
However, it got me thinking that there are quite a lot of theories about what makes good comedy. For example, Norm McDonald (you know, SNL) says he hates applause because it just means you said something the audience agrees with (e.g., some political remark like "Bush sucks!") and is not really funny.
And you remember Larry David saying that he didn't want any characters on "Seinfeld" to hug or learn anything (you know, become better people). "Seinfeld", of course, was firmly rooted in a world of sitcoms where the characters are trapped (doomed!) in their own amusingly defective psyches.
NOW THEN, can anyone suggest any other rules for comedy writing?
And here's a bonus question: there is a story of Lorne Michaels (SNL once again) looking at two pots of coffee and saying "Now, which one of these coffees is freshest?" And an observer thought "He even thinks in comedic pentameter!" Can anyone come up with other ordinary ideas expressed in "comedic pentameter"?
**********************************
"Ah, what time is it? You know, this watch was sold to me by my grandfather on his deathbed."
However, here is a clear example of a funnier revision of a funny idea:
(1) One summer my mother sent my sister and myself to Europe because she needed a vacation.
(2) My mother, one summer, decided she deserved a vacation. So she called up the travel agent and got tickets to Europe. For me and my sister.
******************
Why do you laugh?
I've tought some about it and discovered that there are some main reasons why do you laugh:
1 - Because of the surprise - Most of the reason why you laugh is because the funny thing was so unexpected that you end up laughing, at least smiling.
2 - Because you get it - This is part of the surprise, the part where you get it. But i think it makes a different item because that's the reason why you laugh at intelligent jokes. Because you get it and most of the people don't. That's what makes Simpsons so hilarious.
3 - Because you can - This is more why you wouldn't laugh. If it's about black humour specially. Imagine some redneck talking all goofy, dribbling while speaking. Embarassing, huh? Yeah, but imagine now somebody telling about a redneck he talked to that talked this and that way, imitating while telling this. Hillarius stuff.
There are probably some other reason(s) why you laugh, I couldn't figure them all out. If you have any, just post it!
1 - Because of the surprise - Most of the reason why you laugh is because the funny thing was so unexpected that you end up laughing, at least smiling.
2 - Because you get it - This is part of the surprise, the part where you get it. But i think it makes a different item because that's the reason why you laugh at intelligent jokes. Because you get it and most of the people don't. That's what makes Simpsons so hilarious.
3 - Because you can - This is more why you wouldn't laugh. If it's about black humour specially. Imagine some redneck talking all goofy, dribbling while speaking. Embarassing, huh? Yeah, but imagine now somebody telling about a redneck he talked to that talked this and that way, imitating while telling this. Hillarius stuff.
There are probably some other reason(s) why you laugh, I couldn't figure them all out. If you have any, just post it!
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