A person, full of certitude with Amicable personality, Sagacious by profession, arduous towards any work and have cogent attitude for each and every thing.

"Every person who wins in any understanding must be willing to cut all sources of retreat. Only by doing so can one be sure of maintaining that state of mind known as a burning desire to win - essential to success"

"When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When funds are low and debts are high, And you want to smile but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest, if you must, but don't you quit...Don't give up till mercy"

"The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit."

Now something really personal about me:
Others see me as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They also see me as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. I am not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but I am that who's extremely loyal, having cool attitude to friends that I do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know about me realize it takes a lot to shake my trust in them, but equally that it takes for me a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
Sometimes,I get sudden outbursts of anger and get out of control, I become another person and nothing can stand in your way. I am always curious and responsive to changes. Routine life is not the way I choose to live. Traveling and playing chess are my favorite hobbies because excitement is what you are after. I never stand around the one whom I dislike. My love comes and goes quickly. My strengths are seasoned and original. My weaknesses are rash, impatient and self-rigorous.

WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN WOMAN !!!!!!!!!

1:A BEER DOESN´T GET JEALOUS WHEN YOU GRAB ANOTHER BEER.
2:WHEN YOU GO TO A BAR YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALWAYS PICK UP A BEER .
3:A BEER WON´T GET UPSET IF YOU COME HOME WITH BEER ON YOUR BREATH.
4:YOU DON´T HAVE TO WINE AND DINE A BEER .
5:IF YOU POUR A BEER RIGHT YOU ´LL ALWAYS GET GOOD HEAD.
6:HANGOVERS GO AWAY.
7:WHEN YOU´RE FINISHED WITH A BEER THE BOTTLE IS STILL WORTH TWO DOLLARS .
8:YOU DONT HAVE TO WASH A BEE BEFORE IT TASTES GOOD .
9:A BEER ALWAYS GOES DOWN EASY.
10:YOU CAN SHARE A BEER WITH YOUR FRIENDS .
11:BEER IS ALWAYS WET.
12:YOU ALWAYS KNOW YOU´RE THE FIRST ONE TO POP A BEER .
13:A FRIGID BEER IS A GOOD BEER .
14:YOU CAN HAVE MORE THAN ONE BEER AND NOT FELL GUILTY.
15:YOU CAN ENJOY A BEER ALL MONTH LONG .

KUCH romantic countries in the world:-
H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.
B.U.R.M.A. - Between Us, Remember Me Always.
N.E.P.A.L. - Never Ever Part As Lovers.
I.N.D.I.A. - I Nearly Died In Adoration.
K.E.N.Y.A. - Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing.
C.A.N.A.D.A. - Cute And Naughty Action that Developed into Attraction.
K.O.R.E.A. - Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity.
E.G.Y.P.T. - Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!
M.A.N.I.L.A. - May All Nights Inspire Love Always.
T.H.A.I.L.A.N.D - Totally Happy. Always In Love And Never Dull

Our Stock Market :

Two Simpletons Aadhya and Padhya lived in a village. One day Aadhya went to the Village fair and bought a mule very cheaply at Rs.30.
Next day he bathe the mule and rode on it in the village square with poise . Everybody started praising Aadhya. Seeing that Aadhya sudden rise to fame was due to
the mule Padhya went to Aadhya and offered to buy the Mule for Rs.50. Sensing profit Aadhya sold the Mule to Padhya. Next day Padhya bathe the mule and rode on it in the village square. This time everybody praised
Padhya. Now Aadhya got jealous and bought back the mule from Padhya at Rs.100. This went on till the price of the Mule touch Rs.500.
Now a Saudagar( FII) came to the village and came to know of the Mule. He thought this Mule is magical and offered to buy it from Aadhya at a price of Rs.1000.
Aadhya gleefully sold the Mule to the Saudagar making a huge profit. Now at the Saudagar's place the price of Mule began increasing at a fast pace till it reached Rs.2000.
Now Aadhya seeing the demand of the Mule sold everything and went to the Saudagar to buy back the Mule. The Saudagar returned it to him at Rs.2000.
The very next day the villagers started spreading rumors that there is some fault in the Mule so the Saudagar must have sold it back to Aadhya.
Aadhya heard the rumors and felt restless. He went to Padhya and told him that he urgently needs money and he is ready to sell his Rs.2000 Mule at Rs.1500.
Padhya seeing a profit of Rs.500 bought the Mule. The next day Padhya heard rumors about the Mule and he desparately went back to Aadhya and told him to buy back the Mule and giving him whatever amount he wants to give.
Aadhya bought back the Mule for Rs.800.
Now Aadhya is feeding the Rs.800 Mule everyday in his courtyard dreaming that one day the Saudagar (FIIs) will return and buy his Mule again.

• a blushing crow | a crushing blow
• a half-warmed fish | a half-formed wish
• bad salad | sad ballad
• bake him away, toys! | take him away, boys!
• bat flattery | flat battery
• bedding wells | wedding bells
• belly jeans | jelly beans
• biny little tirds | tiny little birds
• bowel feast | foul beast
• cat flap | flat cap
• cattle ships and bruisers | battle ships and cruisers
• chipping the flannel on TV | flipping the channel on TV
• cop porn | popcorn
• eye ball | bye all
• fight in your race | right in your face
• fighting a liar | lighting a fire
• fission mailed | mission failed
• flutter by | butterfly
• go and shake a tower | go and take a shower
• goddies* | doggies *
• hake a tike | take a hike
• hiss and lear | listen here
• hypodemic nurdle | hypodermic needle
• I hit my bunny phone | I hit my funny bone
• I’m a damp stealer | I’m a stamp dealer
• I’m shout of the hour | I’m out of the shower
• I must mend the sail | I must send the mail
• is the bean dizzy? | is the Dean busy?
• it crawls through the fax | it falls through the cracks
• it’s roaring with pain | it’s pouring with rain
• know your blows | blow your nose
• lack of pies | pack of lies
• lead of spite | speed of light
• mad bunny | bad money
• mean as custard | keen as mustard
• my zips are lipped | my lips are zipped
• nicking your pose | picking your nose
• nosey little cook | cosy little nook
• no tails | toe nails
• our queer old Dean | our dear old Queen
• our shoving leopard | our loving shepherd
• pit nicking | nit picking
• plaster man | master plan
• ready as a stock | steady as a rock
• sealing the hick | healing the sick
• soap in your hole | hope in your soul
• soul of ballad | bowl of salad
• tease my ears | ease my tears
• this is the pun fart | this is the fun part
• tons of soil | sons of toil
• wave the sails | save the whales
• we’ll have the hags flung out | we’ll have the flags hung out
• would you like a nasal hut? | would you like a hazel nut?
• you have very mad banners | you have very bad manners
• you hissed my mystery lecture | you missed my history lecture
• you’ve tasted two worms | you’ve wasted two terms

*When I was a little girl, this is what I called dogs

some good spoonerisms...check it

* Tease my ears (Ease my tears)

* A lack of pies (A pack of lies)

* It's roaring with pain (It's pouring with rain)

*Wave the sails (Save the whales)

* Cat flap (Flat cap)

* Bad salad (Sad ballad)

* Soap in your hole (Hope in your soul)

* Mean as custard (Keen as mustard)



* Plaster man (Master plan)
* Pleating and humming (Heating and plumbing)
* Trim your snow tail (Trim your toe nails)
* Birthington's washday (Washington's Birthday)
* Trail snacks (Snail tracks)
* Bottle in front of me (Frontal Lobotomy)
* Sale of two titties (Tale of two cities)
* Rental Deceptionist (Dental Receptionist)
* Flock of bats (Block of flats)
* Chewing the doors (Doing the chores)


know your blows blow your nose
go and shake a tower go and take a shower
tease my ears ease my tears
nicking your pose picking your nose
you have very mad banners you have very bad manners
lack of pies pack of lies

it's roaring with pain it's pouring with rain
sealing the hick healing the sick
go help me sod so help me God
pit nicking nit picking

bowel feast foul beast
I'm a damp stealer I'm a stamp dealer
hypodemic nurdle hypodermic needle
wave the sails save the whales

chipping the flannel on TV flipping the channel on TV
mad bunny bad money
I'm shout of the hour I'm out of the shower
lead of spite speed of light


this is the pun fart this is the fun part
I hit my bunny phone I hit my funny bone
flutter by butterfly
bedding wells wedding bells

I must mend the sail I must send the mail
cop porn popcorn
it crawls through the fax it falls through the cracks
my zips are lipped my lips are zipped
bat flattery flat battery


would you like a nasal hut? would you like a hazel nut?
puke on coupon
belly jeans jelly beans
eye ball bye all


fight in your race right in your face
ready as a stock steady as a rock
no tails toe nails
hiss and lear listen here
soul of ballad bowl of salad

http://handlingyourself.blogspot.com
http://handlelife.blogspot.com/

Know Others
http://learnpeople.blogspot.com/
http://learnfriendship.blogspot.com/
http://knowrelation.blogspot.com/
http://learndating.blogspot.com/

Know Yourself
http://knowindividuals.blogspot.com/
http://knowpsychology.blogspot.com/
http://knowconsciousness.blogspot.com/

Fear and Anger
http://knowingfear.blogspot.com
http://handlinganger.blogspot.com/

Yoga and Meditation
http://knowingyoga.blogspot.com/
http://knowmeditation.blogspot.com/

Stress, Depression & Postivity
http://handlestress.blogspot.com/
http://knowdepression.blogspot.com/
http://becomepositive.blogspot.com/

Mind and Body
http://handlingmind.blogspot.com
http://healthypractices.blogspot.com

Sleep and Relaxation
http://sleepnicely.blogspot.com
http://relaxingguide.blogspot.com

Rules of Comedy Writing

I was recently reading "Hitchhiker", a biography of Douglas Adams, and there was a mention of John Cleese's 3 rules of comedy writing, which are:

1. NO PUNS
2. NO PUNS
3. NO PUNS

Not all that helpful, right?
However, it got me thinking that there are quite a lot of theories about what makes good comedy. For example, Norm McDonald (you know, SNL) says he hates applause because it just means you said something the audience agrees with (e.g., some political remark like "Bush sucks!") and is not really funny.
And you remember Larry David saying that he didn't want any characters on "Seinfeld" to hug or learn anything (you know, become better people). "Seinfeld", of course, was firmly rooted in a world of sitcoms where the characters are trapped (doomed!) in their own amusingly defective psyches.
NOW THEN, can anyone suggest any other rules for comedy writing?

And here's a bonus question: there is a story of Lorne Michaels (SNL once again) looking at two pots of coffee and saying "Now, which one of these coffees is freshest?" And an observer thought "He even thinks in comedic pentameter!" Can anyone come up with other ordinary ideas expressed in "comedic pentameter"?

**********************************

"Ah, what time is it? You know, this watch was sold to me by my grandfather on his deathbed."
However, here is a clear example of a funnier revision of a funny idea:
(1) One summer my mother sent my sister and myself to Europe because she needed a vacation.
(2) My mother, one summer, decided she deserved a vacation. So she called up the travel agent and got tickets to Europe. For me and my sister.

******************

Why do you laugh?

I've tought some about it and discovered that there are some main reasons why do you laugh:
1 - Because of the surprise - Most of the reason why you laugh is because the funny thing was so unexpected that you end up laughing, at least smiling.
2 - Because you get it - This is part of the surprise, the part where you get it. But i think it makes a different item because that's the reason why you laugh at intelligent jokes. Because you get it and most of the people don't. That's what makes Simpsons so hilarious.
3 - Because you can - This is more why you wouldn't laugh. If it's about black humour specially. Imagine some redneck talking all goofy, dribbling while speaking. Embarassing, huh? Yeah, but imagine now somebody telling about a redneck he talked to that talked this and that way, imitating while telling this. Hillarius stuff.

There are probably some other reason(s) why you laugh, I couldn't figure them all out. If you have any, just post it!

BUY E- CLERX !

CMP : 202

BUY IN 4 PARTS @ 180 - 156 - 140 - 110 ......IN NEXT 6 MONTHS !

25% ON EVERY 10% FALL........

TIME - FRAME -- 3-5 YEARS MINIMUM !

TARGET -- 1,000 ++

FOR REASONS & ANALYSIS !

CHECK -- http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#CommMsgs.aspx?cmm=45808358&tid=5339325651046471725

====================================

E CLERX

eClerx Services Limited
================


-- eClerx is one of the leading KPO player with
strong fundamentals to ride the next wave of
outsourcing in India.

-- eClerx is the first KPO player to list in India and
the only listed pure play KPO player available in
India.

-- eClerx has witnessed strong growth rates in the
last 5 years with a CAGR of 56% in Sales, 92% in
profits and its just the beginning.

-- eClerx has top notch minds in the promoters and
the management is completely professional with
most of the overseas operations headed by the
citizens of the respective countries.

-- eClerx has a very strong clientele including the
top computer manufacturer, three leading PC
component manufacturer, leading US wholesaler,
the top two travel portals in the world, major US
investment banks and four of UK’s top 10 retailers

=======================

Snapshot (as on May 22nd 2009)

CMP – Rs. 196.25 (Company has cash reserve of Rs 113Cr which amounts to almost Rs. 60 per share
hence the share is actually available at Rs.136 per share)

P/E (TTM) – 6.19 (With the company growing already at more than 50% and with the expected growth rates to become strong, a definite PE rerating is possible.)

M cap – 381.76 Cr (Mcap below Rs 500Cr are the preferred candidate for small cap multibagger)

Year High/Low – 295/72.30 (The year lows were

FY08 : Sales - 116.98Cr & Net Profit – 43.92Cr

EPS (Trailing Twelve Months) – 32.57

EPS (9M FY 09) – Rs 23.6 (Company is growing with healthy EPS growth, CMP fully justified based on the earnings of the company)

OPM/NPM - 38.58% & 61.67% as per trailing 12
months data.

Face Value – Rs 10

Book Value – 69.87 & Price/Book – 2.89

Issued Capital – 18.87 Cr

Paid up capital – 18.87 Cr (All the issued shares made during Oct’08, from Oct’08 till March’09 it was consolidating in the range of Rs75-100, as on today CMP is just 30% below year high)

Life High/Low – 417/72 (It should be noted that this is one of the very few stocks which did not go below the Oct’08 low, when the broad market made a huge low during Mar’09)

Shares outstanding – 1.89 Cr shares (These numbers have not changed much since IPO. There
has not been any kind of dilution by the promoters) were subscribed to and fully paid up)

Cash Reserve – 113Cr & Debt – Zero.

Div & Yield – 4.21% & Div (%) – 85%

Website: http://www.eclerx.com

Top MF holdings :
ICICI Pru Discovery Fund (G) 385,573
ICICI Pru Technology Fund (G) 288,013
Franklin India Prima Plus Fund (G) 259,796
Franklin Infotech Fund (G) 81,43
========================

IT, BPO,…… KPO ?

What’s next after IT and BPO?
=====================

-- After witnessing strong growth in IT outsourcing services and BPO and establishing itself in the outsourcing arena, India is poised for a tremendous growth in the field of KPO - Knowledge process
outsourcing. The time has come for India to become an established KPO player as well.

-- KPO industry in India is currently estimated at around 5 billion USD and has grown at a CAGR of more than 50% in the last 4 to 5 years. A most recent survey and analysis estimates KPO outsourcing world wide to touch 16.7 billion USD by 2011. This implies an annual growth rate of 40%. Furthermore, the KPO industry in India is estimated to grow to 11.2 billion USD by 2011. With the stabilization of US majors and the Capital markets expected, the growth rate and the size of the opportunity could only improve.

-- KPO is poised for a strong growth and this growth can be compared with the growth of IT from the start of this century / end of previous century.

-- KPO belongs to a high value process chain where the achievement of the objective is highly dependent on the skills, domain knowledge and the experience of the people carrying out the activity.

-- KPO calls for the application of specialized domain pertinent knowledge of a high level. KPO is a combination of BPO – Business process outsourcing, RPO – Research process outsourcing and APO - Analysis proves outsourcing.

-- KPO derives it’s strength from the depth of Knowledge, Judgment and experience factor; BPO in more contrast is about size, volume and efficiency.

-- BPO is more of entering unsorted data into a black box, while KPO is about retrieving useful
information from the back box

===================================

Valuation !

As on today eClerx with FY09 sales of ~ Rs150Cr has business opportunity which runs
in billions of dollars. As per one estimate KPO business will be $17bn industry by 2010-11 and
India will do 70% of outsourcing which is ~12bn of business.

Assuming that 70% of the KPO outsourcing done in India ($17bn industry by 2010-11 x 70% outsourcing ~ $11.9bn by 2010-11). It means scale of opportunity is approx Rs 53,000Cr ($1 ~ Rs 45).

Assuming that eClerx is able to achieve only 10% of market share by 2010-11, which
throws a business of Rs5,300 Cr for eClerx which is almost 35 times more than the
current sales of eClerx which is just ~ Rs 150Cr.

Considering risk and unknown factors, eClerx will be able to give a return of at least 10
times in 3 years or even 20 times since it has sufficient head room to grow.

Mudar Patherya explains how to identify a bull market.

Mudar Patherya explains how to identify a bull market.

Mudar Patherya explains how to identify a bull market.



It's a bull market if you've woken up this morning with the feeling: "Thank god, it is Monday!"



• It's a bull market if the analyst takes a deep breath, runs his mind quickly across 1985, 1992, 2000 and says, "But it is different this time."



• It's a bull market if the MD is talking to you but looking at the CNBC ticker.



• It's a bull market if your son asks you for the meaning of 'support' and you confuse him with trend lines and candlesticks.



• It's a bull market if your sense of time evolves from 'I knew her from the time she was this small' to 'It was in those days when Webel-SL was only Rs 5…'



• It's a bull market when your broker says, "Lai liyo baapa, share jowa nahin maley!"



• It's a bull market if you discover a sudden respect for the middle-level accountant of a publicly listed company and suffix his name with a 'ji'.



• It's a bull market if every analyst advises caution but adds, "However, in the long term we are bullish."



• It's a bull market if you're suddenly discovered on the social circuit because you happen to be the husband of the wife who is a niece of the person who was a friend of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala's father 30 years ago.



• It's a bull market if people call you up to discuss the weather, the pollution, the nation, the Marxists and inevitably end up with, "Kuch khareedne laayak?"



• It's a bull market if everyone is convinced that the country has a great future but will still call you as soon as the market melts three per cent and ask, "Badhoo baraabar, ney?"



• It's a bull market if a Rs 10 crore profit becomes a Rs 15 crore profit quarter-on-quarter and you sneer dismissively, "Kuch ho nahin raha hai!"



• It's a bull market if you disinvest big time but prefer to leave the surplus with the broker saying, "Aaakhir aapko hi toh mujhe dena hai."



• It's a bull market if you apply the ROI (return on investment) concept to everything your wife says you need at home and grumble: "Yaad hai, if we had not bought the microwave oven but bought Saboo Sodium stock, today you would have been a queen riding an Alto…"



• It's a bull market if you see 25-year-olds trade derivatives arrogantly and come away feeling that you need to read Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning all over again.



• It's a bull market if you encounter a new species of professional who only works five days a week from 9.55 to 3.30 and responds to everything with 'Jalsaa chhey!'



• It's a bull market when housewives discover an undiscovered part of their personalities in the 90 minutes between putting the tadka on the daalm and picking pappu up from school by calling the broker and asking "Tewariji, aaj kya naya hai?"



• It's a bull market when the Opinion Democratisation Index peaks, usually manifested in 23-year-olds dismissing companies with a 10 per cent increase in earnings as 'chors'.



• It's a bull market when you ask why Prism Cement will go to Rs 81 and the answer is 'Kyonki website pey likha hain'.



• It's a bull market if Enam puts out a research report indicating that the stock could double in a year and you say 'Bus?'



• It's a bull market when the management is explaining its restructuring, business model and sustainability agenda and the analyst simply wants to know 'Lekin EPS kya aayega?'



• It's a bull market if the wife starts getting suspicious about an sms every two minutes on your cell phone, sneaks a look when you go to the loo, only to find 'Buy Nifty futures'.



• It's a bull market when you get a call from someone who you thought was a proud father of an MBA graduate but insists, "Aap mere bete ko aap ke under mein le leejiye, aadmi ban jaayega!"



• It's a bull market when people don't have more than Rs 223 in their pocket but discuss stake sales and numbers ending six zeroes.



• It's a bull market when you find it difficult to go on a vacation because somewhere deep inside you nurse the feeling that an unattended market might do something stupid behind your back.



• It's a bull market when Nandigram seems a 'jhanjhat' and Myanmar monks irrelevant.



• It's a bull market when a company with a turnover of Rs 1300 crore announces an expansion of Rs 16,000 crore, issues a statement, cuts ribbons and is photographed alongside the CM and all the hard work being put in by some outstanding business leaders suddenly looks like poultry raw material.



• It's a bull market when you read the front page of the pink papers and realise how small you are.



• It's a bull market if your daughter mentions 'Let us take a break' and your first recall is interrupted hours of trading due to the sun outage.



• It's a bull market when you get irritable on Saturday and Sunday.



• It's a bull market when you read a column like this and say, "What? No tip?" and hiss that your time was bloody wasted.